Posted By Beth Terry on November 19, 2008

My friend Peggy from Hawaii reminded me to pick up Viktor Frankl’s book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” at exactly the right time. We all have times of regret in our lives. Times where we wonder why we went somewhere, made that choice, got involved with someone.

As I re-read the amazing story of Viktor Frankl’s experiences in four concentration camps, and his road back to sanity, I was reminded of his philosophy that “No experience is wasted.” Each event leads you somewhere. Each thought and each action become pieces of that puzzle uniquely known as YOU.

Even if we could create an exact replica of ourselves, eventually our clone would develop different characteristics and personality tics because of its individual experiences. Inevitably, what and who we experience impacts our thinking and our behavior.

In college I came across a wonderful little book of poetry by Laurence Craig-Green. Decades later, my favorite still lives on my office wall:

“They come,
They go,
They never know
What
they do
But
they do
Change
you.”

Nothing is wasted because we always have the opportunity to learn from everything and add it to our body of knowledge about ourselves and how the world works. Frankl’s ability to find nuggets of truth in the camps helped him survive. He knew he had to remember everything; he knew he had to tell the outside world so it would never be repeated. That goal of storing every piece of information kept him grounded while some camp mates slowly went insane.

Regret and anger over our past choices erode our confidence today. If we feel we’ve made huge mistakes, we will find ourselves incapable of taking risks and making new efforts towards our goals. Life becomes meaningless in the face of despair and self-recrimination.

The solution? Sit with the “mistake.” Ask what went right. Ask what you could have done differently. Ask,”What’s the lesson?” Ask what you can do next time to have a better outcome. Approach all experiences with this attitude. Switch the thinking from “I am such an idiot.” or “I can’t believe I allowed that to happen!” To - “Isn’t that interesting. I wonder how it got that way. What can I do better next time?”

I went through several careers before becoming a Professional Speaker. I noticed in every job I held, I always said, “Hey, we need to do some training on that,” and then I’d set out to create a training program. One day it hit me that maybe what I should be doing is training instead of administrating. All my experiences in real estate, insurance, tourism, and retail gave me an amazing range of understanding for my seminars and keynotes.

We don’t always know what our path looks like from the end of the road, but we all have instincts about where we need to go next. Keep making those turns, stay open to learning, and eventually you will come home to YOU.

All the best,

Beth

~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc. All Rights Reserved Internationally.

Category: Real Life, change, resilience | No Comments »
Tags: faith, hope, impact of others, Man's Search For Meaning, resilience, Viktor Frankl

Posted By Beth Terry on November 5, 2008

The 2008 election is over. The upset is not. Whether you had favorites in the National, State, or Local races, no doubt some of your favorites won and some lost. The hardest part is always the next step: accepting that this is what IS, and figuring out what to do with it.

On the National Election, I was pleased by the graciousness of both candidates. Both talked about coming together and working out the differences. We need to do that. That means, if your candidate won - no gloating. No ‘in your face’ comments. If your candidate lost - no whining. No fear mongering. It is what it is.

Just remember — 8 Years ago there were many who felt passionately we had made the right decision. Now the polls show a dismal 22% approval rating. We never really know how things will turn out. We do our best. Do our homework. Follow our hearts and our instincts. And hope for the best. Then live with the results.

Personally, I can’t imagine taking on this country at this time. On many levels it’s a no-win situation. If you can’t simmer down to support the winner, settle down and do what you can to help the country. At the end of the day, like it or not, we are all in this together. And, no matter how you shake it, this was a historic election in so many ways. It was a thrill to be living through it all.

God Bless America.

And thanks for voting. It does matter.

Beth

~~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Real Life, adversity, change | No Comments »
Tags: come together, election, McCain, Obama, politics, post-election

Posted By Beth Terry on November 4, 2008

I know, I know, today I’m supposed to be reminding you to vote; or carrying on about this candidate or that; or telling you NOT to vote if you disagree with my choices…

But this morning I had a far more interesting encounter than all the blather on TV about the elections.

While I was lifting weights on my patio, I noticed the trees looked a tad thirsty. It was a nice 70 degrees, and very dry. I wandered over and, setting the sprayer on “gentle rain,” proceeded to shower the trees with homemade rainfall. This was a time I wished I had a video feed directly from my eyeballs to a camera.

Two baby birds decided it was time to play. One was the teeniest hummingbird I had ever seen - my baby finger is bigger. It’s downy feathers were just forming with a hint of turquoise showing at the neck. A baby sparrow was playing with him. Chirping and chuckling, they flew directly under my rain shower and sat on a branch, moving their heads, shaking and flapping their wings to take full advantage of the rain. Then they flew around the orange tree a couple of times, and came back and sat under my rain shower again.

This went on for a full ten minutes. I held perfectly still, trying hard to memorize this moment — to be in the “now” of it, the zen of it. I was close enough to reach out and hold these birds in my hand, and had to fight to urge to do just that.

Then, they both looked right at me, holding my gaze, as if they just realized there was a very large bird creating this rain. We stared at each other for an eternity, then the sparrow chuckled and off they flew to sit in my nectarine tree and ponder.

I sat on my patio and watched them for another half hour. They don’t care what today is. They don’t worry about the economy. They don’t know who will win the election, and tomorrow their life will be the same either way. They need food. Shelter. Protection from predators and inclement weather.

Some days it would be nice to just be a hummingbird.

Enjoy your day!

Beth

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Real Life, The Critters | 1 Comment »
Tags: hummingbirds, nature, Perspective, Real Life

Posted By Beth Terry on November 2, 2008

If there is anything we learned in 2001, it’s don’t quit when the chips are down. That year I’d had my house on the market so long that I finally sold it at a $50,000 loss. Three months later the market popped and, had I waited, I would have made money.

This is a strange time. We have become so entangled with the world marketplace that we don’t know what to expect. Even the smartest economists on the block are disagreeing about……. more

Category: Life Crises, adversity, resilience | No Comments »
Tags: keep going, never give up, persistence, stick to it

Posted By Beth Terry on October 30, 2008

The controversial Reverend Ike once said, “The best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them.”

I thought of that as I awoke to my radio playing Emerson Drive’s, “Moments.” Country music is exquisite in its ability to tell poignant stories with a few well chosen words. The song is about a man at the end of his hope, ready to jump off the “E-Street Bridge” when a homeless man comes and talks him back from the edge.

In that wonderfully lucid waking moment, I had an “aha.” When I work on myself, I’m not just doing it for me. The healthier I am, the more I can reach out to someone else. Our individual sanity is a community issue. When we figure out our own economic issues, or health issues, or emotional issues, we are better able to reach out and support someone else. And we often discover a better person inside us when the times get tough.

It warms my heart to watch people be more than they think they can be. I lived in Hawaii during both Hurricane Iwa and Hurricane Iniki. Neighbors who’d been strangers were out fixing each others’ roofs; pooling food and water; looking for lost animals.

We Americans show up best during adversity. We put our heads down, our shoulders to the wall, and we all push together. With winter looming and the economy still uncertain, we are there for each other. And it’s showing up all over town.

Yesterday on KNIX radio, Ben & Matt announced a food drive for St. Vincent de Paul, a charity that feeds the hungry. It wasn’t just any old can drive. These guys are trying to get ONE MILLION cans of food for the drive in the next 23 days! What followed this morning brought tears to my eyes.

One after another, the emails and calls were coming in. “We’ll donate!” “We’ll get all 20 of our locations to donate!” “We’ve got our school kids involved!” Listeners were flooding their phones and inboxes. It’s a wonderful, healthy response. Giving IS better than receiving. When we’re feeling helpless about something as intangible as “THE ECONOMY” we feel better if we can contribute to someone else’s well being.

Then the 8,000 pound gorilla stepped up to the plate. Just as I was wondering how I was going to get my cans down to KNIX, Safeway called the radio station. They offered to be the collection point…not just in the Phoenix area, but in their hundreds of stores throughout the entire state- and even into New Mexico! KNIX is going to, by God, get their million cans! Go Safeway!

More importantly, this project is giving people hope… and I’m not just talking about the hungry who will be fed. When we rise to our greater good, we’re reminded that we’re a Community. We feel better. We feel empowered because we are doing something about the tough times, not just sittin’ around feelin’ sorry for ourselves. Because we reach out, we are blessed too.

Thanks, Ben & Matt! That was a great way to wake up this morning! Good luck on your can drive!

And readers - make it part of your holidays to support this project or one in your neighborhood. You’ll feel better when you do. To find out more about this wonderful project go to KNIX Country.

Happy Holidays!

Beth

~~~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Heroism, Life Crises, adversity | No Comments »
Tags: adversity, Ben & Matt, charity, economic downturn, KNiX country, million can drive, Safeway, St.vincent de Paul

Posted By Beth Terry on October 25, 2008

Picture your sweet 6-month old infant in her crib. You play peek-a-boo and she giggles. You scrunch your nose up and she giggles again. You pick up this tiny, sweet bundle of joy in your arms. You hold her to your face and you say, “OK kiddo, today you are going to go jogging with me. Put on your shoes. No more carriage rides for you!”

Preposterous? Of course. But isn’t that what we do to ourselves? Isn’t this what we are asking of our employees, our co-workers, our leaders? We learned to walk one step at a time. We got into whatever mess we are in, one step at a time. We can get out…but it will take some patience; some practice; some perseverance. We aren’t going to jump directly to the solution any more than our 6-month old baby is going to run the marathon today.

I’m working on changing some things in my life. I’ve discovered a lot of it is about my willingness. Am I willing to change? Am I willing to let go? What is worth the holding on? What requires the letting go? Whenever I run into an obstacle, I first have to work on being willing to do what I need to do.

More importantly, I need to figure out:  what am I holding on to? And why? Where’s the ‘juice?’ Where’s the benefit for this stubborn silliness? How the hell did I get here? We talk about addictions to cigarettes or booze, but methinks most of what we won’t release comes from some level of addiction. We say we want to change. We are sure we could be less miserable. But we are comfortable in our misery. It gives us a familiar song to sing: “Woe is me. Poor Me. Feel sorry for me. See I can’t do anything for you because I can’t do anything for me.” Or worse, we wallow because we want / expect someone else to rescue us from the mess we created all by our lonesome.

I’m finding it interesting how many people and how many companies are using ‘the economy’ as an excuse. “Oh, we were fine until THE ECONOMY tanked.” Really?   OK -I’ll buy that the economy has really affected some sectors- especially the tourism markets. But many economists are saying a lot of this is the result of a collective belief that “things are bad.”

Yes, the boys in Washington; the CEO’s heading up big investment and oil firms should all be sent to their rooms without supper — for the rest of the decade. Personally, I think they should all be forced to sell all but 2 of their homes and put the money back into the US Treasury. That goes for all our politicians, too. Now THERE is a Bailout Plan.

But WE each need to be accountable, too. To take a look at our own lives and ask ourselves:

• What can I let go of? Why?
• What do I need to hold on to? Why?
• What changes can I make in my life, my behaviors, my relationships? How?
• What baby steps can I take to move forward - today, this week, this month?
• If I had it to do over, what would I do differently?
• How can I implement that strategy now?

There’s no benefit in beating yourself up for the past. Just take that first step. I realized that was what kept stopping me. I’d see something I wanted to change, then spent the better part of the day being angry with myself for “letting it get this far out of whack.” Doesn’t do much good to do that! Now I just say, “Stop. Just DO something. Anything!” That helps.

Just like the infant in the crib- we will have to build up some new muscles to walk before we can run. That may mean taking a class; learning a new skill; letting go of one little bad habit a month.

We learned to walk when we were babies. That was a HUGE transition. Think about it: we went from horizontal to vertical in one day! We had feet suited for dragging along behind knees and figured out how to bend them so we could walk on the bottoms. Our little diapered butts were way out of proportion to allow balance. And our tummies hung over the diapers like beer bellies. Yet- we walked.

We can make the right transitions to deal with whatever it is that challenges us today. Ready? One - Step - at- a - time. Good Luck!

Happy trails,

Beth

~~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, inc.

Category: Common Sense, change | No Comments »
Tags: addictions, Bailout, change, guilt, letting go, oil companies, politicians, transformation, Washington DC

Posted By Beth Terry on October 18, 2008

We’ve been here before. Maybe the players were different, the causes were different; but our race - the human race - has weathered storms like this. The US is a teenager. We are just a little over 200 years old. In the grand scheme of countries like China - checking in around 5,000 years old — we’re kids.

Just like kids, we are a little more starry-eyed. A little more sure of ourselves sometimes. And sometimes we think we know what’s best for all those grown-up countries. And sometimes we’re right.

What this time feels like to me is a “coming of age.” We have learned our boundaries - the hard way, as most teenagers do. And as long as this train wreck we’ve caused doesn’t derail the whole country, we’ll be OK — EVENTUALLY.

I’ve been through some tough times in my life; times I didn’t think I’d survive. Loss of family, friends, money, self-confidence. And, EVENTUALLY, I bounced back. I’ve seen client companies weather untrustworthy employees, bad economies, poor leadership, and bad decisions. And EVENTUALLY they came back.

After the storm it may not look the same. Faces, policies, decisions, thinking, actions - all these will change a little. We get better from the adversity. We learn our boundaries. We are sobered by our lessons; a little more cautious. We’re like a teenager who narrowly escapes a horrible, life-threatening accident and begins to drive more consciously.

Don’t panic. Take a deep breath. Turn off the incessant TV and radio commentators. Think for yourself. Live your life. Be smart about your money, but don’t give up and don’t give in. No one knows where this will go.

Take the advice they give you if you fall into quicksand - the more you panic and kick, the faster you sink. If you hold your head up and slowly move towards safety, you’ll be OK.

Most importantly - Remember who you are. Remember the skills you bring to the table. Remember that you are a survivor. Believe in YOU. You don’t need to believe in the economy. You need to believe in yourself.

So - focus on SOLUTIONS today. What can you do, just for today, that will make your life a little better? What can you do, just for today, that will improve your finances just a little? What can you do, just for today, that will improve your relationships?

You can do this. You will survive this. We all will.

To Joy!

Beth

~~~~

PS - if you need a little perspective - see the history of gas prices here. Scroll down. The first are barrel prices, the second are at the pump.

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Life Crises, Values to Live By, Work Ethic, Work Life Balance, resilience | No Comments »
Tags: coping strategies, economy, gas prices, peace of mind, resilience, teenagers

Posted By Beth Terry on October 12, 2008

The news tugs at the side of my consciousness. I watch it from time to time, but have decided not to let it rule my day. I think it was Mark Victor Hansen who once described the news as “The same bad stuff happening to different people every day.” I’m keeping up on things, but that’s about it. I notice it goes on without me.

I sometimes wish the news media, Hollywood, and all the TV stations would take a more responsible tack with the news and their shows. Everything seems to be about sensation: screaming; being offended; being punked; being caught; being made to look stupid. One wonders how much life is imitating art. How much is a reflection of our life, and how much has caused the life we now see?

Perhaps because I travel so much, I see a bigger world. I know we are in trouble. I know that we are all connected globally. And yet, as they say, “All Politics is local.” Flying over half the country in the past month, I still see an amazing landscape. I still see grit and determination in the faces of everyday people. I still see mothers loving their babies; fathers playing catch with their kids. I still see elderly couples holding hands as they take an afternoon stroll.

No - none of that is on TV. None of it is remarkable. It’s just life being lived while the crazy people in DC and on Wall Street muck around with our lives and our livelihood. It’s a reminder that life goes on. Some will be more affected than others. The life ‘as we know it’ may not exist tomorrow. Then again, tomorrow is always different from today.

We cannot change anything by worrying. Fretting about a bill never paid the bill. We can fix things by doing something — anything. And when we are doing - we are probably not worrying because our focus is elsewhere.

So - here’s what I did. I canceled several things that were on automatic monthly credit card charges. I went through my things and found stuff that I no longer wanted or needed. Some of it I sold on ebay. Some of it I gave away. I planned my meals a little better and did a more comprehensive, smart grocery list. I brought only cash with me to the grocery store, forcing me to spend within my limits. I paid my utilities, phone bill, and office supplies bill with cash. Ahh - now THAT’s an eye opener. $78 looks different in a check book than it does counting out of your wallet.

Go about your day in peace. Do the best you can to be smart about your finances. But don’t let the insanity come between you and your loved ones. Don’t let it take away your sleep. Tap into your resourcefulness. Tap into your creativity. Get your family involved in finding ways to make it through this.

Remember, no matter how bad you think you’ve got it, we are still doin’ pretty good. Everything is relative, including your relatives!

Here’s to hoping we all learn from this and make this country great again.

Cheers,

Beth

~~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Life Crises, Solving Problems, resilience | No Comments »
Tags: change, creativity, economy meltdown, hope, resourcefulness

Posted By Beth Terry on October 8, 2008

It’s nuts out there. But you knew that. Just did a seminar yesterday for one of my favorite clients out here in Hawaii. Kamehameha Schools has over 100 year-history of providing education for the children of Hawaii. I love those people. Every time I get to train on their campus, I can feel the real spirit of Aloha that the ancients must have felt. The leaders in my session yesterday were truly caring, intelligent people.

We talked about how to handle this mess on a local level. It’s easy to get all caught up in the insanity on TV and radio. But at the end of the day, what matters is how your team is responding. Are they feeling hopeless? If they are, it will reflect in their work.

So we talked about Accountability. About being present. About role modeling the behaviors you want to see in your people. How can you expect them to react with resourcefulness and strength if you are falling apart?

Ok - so we’ve had a meltdown. We can sit around and whine. Argue about fault. Moan about our lost stocks. Or we can DO SOMETHING. As leaders, that’s our only choice.

Remember who you are. Remember your mission. Look again at your vision statements. Does anything need to be revised with the new situation? Can you get your people focused on the good stuff?

One thing I have revisited in recent months is a process I used to use called Appreciative Inquiry. It’s a fairly simple process. Look at what’s working. Get people focused there. See what you can do to transfer the best practices that work to other departments and processes in the organization.

Some of the questions you can ask your team:

• What are we doing right?
• What’s working? Why?
• What policies and procedures make our employees and customers happy?
• Which processes/activities bring in the best return on our investments?
• What did we do to make these successes possible?
• How can we transfer these successes throughout the organization?

When you get the answers to these conversations, you can begin to rewrite your vision and mission with positive outcomes in mind. People begin remembering what works and what part they played in the success. By focusing on the positive, their brains naturally become more open to creativity and resourcefulness.

And that’s the beauty of this process: It get’s people’s heads screwed on straight. You’re looking for what’s good about the organization. In a down economy, a lot of people really want to look for everything that’s wrong - at home and at work. That kind of negativity can overwhelm even the most positive of people and slow down their productivity.

What’s happened has happened. It may very well get worse before it gets better. But it doesn’t help if people are sabotaging the things that still work in the organization. Set some standards. Let them know you expect them to continue to help your company succeed. Do some Appreciative Inquiry exercises. Keep communication two-way and SAFE. And always Remember Who You Are.

For more info on Appreciative Inquiry, go here.

All the best to you and your organizations,

Beth

~~~

© 2008 Beth Terry Seminars, Inc.

Category: Common Sense, Life Crises, Managing Smarts, Work Ethic, change, resilience | No Comments »
Tags: appreciative inquiry, down economy, expectations, Kamehameha schools, leadership, standards

Posted By Beth Terry on October 4, 2008

I had to just get the word out there. I go to Hawaii every 6 weeks or so to work. The fares this summer for all travel have been a nightmare. Cuts into your profits.

But - I just went online to book my Hawaii trip for November. I got a round trip ticket for $377!!! - including tax and all the airport fees! And I noticed they have some really cool hotel-air-car specials that are lower than my ticket cost me just for air this summer.

That’s out of Phoenix. Hawaiian Airlines (the best airlines in the US!) flies out of a whole bunch of west coast cities. So - see if you can get a decent fare to the coast or to Phoenix on another airline (like Southwest) - then book a really great fare out of here.

I’ve stayed at the Aqua Hotels advertised on Hawaiian Air’s packages. Not bad. You are rarely in your room anyway. And the Aqua Spa hotel is right across the street from the vaunted Hilton Hawaiian Village - so you are within walking distance to the beach.

For some cool info on Hawaii, go to my website and hover your mouse over “FAQ’s and Fun Stuff” - there are several pages on Hawaii. Hover over the Hawaii Insider link and you’ll see even more.

Check it out. If you’ve ever wanted to go to Hawaii, this might be the time!

Beth

Category: Money, travel | No Comments »
Tags: hawaii, Hawaiian Airlines, special fares, travel